So we were not following too many people in July but we still have some good tweets to offer up. We have increased the amount of comedians that we have been following. This post of top Funny Tweets Features…

Drew Hastings, Dane Cook, Nick Griffin, Doug Benson, Kevin Nealon, The Onion, Jim Gaffigan, Joe Rogan, Chick McGee from the Bob & Tom Show, Matt Thompson, Michael Ian Black, BT McLaughlin, Costaki Economopoulos, Rain Wilson, Mike Rotman, Kelly Terranova, Daniel Tosh, Henry Philips, Paul & Storm, Amy Schumer, Mike Birbiglia
& Pat Godwin offering the best and most Funny Tweets From July.

Now Time For Your Funny Fix

Top 28 Funny Tweets

28. kevin_nealon Call me a risk-taker but this morning I used my “indoor voice” outside. No complaints so far. July 30th

27. drewhastings This economy is getting worse- I can now only afford to give one fuck. July 29th

26. TheOnion Softball Team Unsure Of How To Console Jackass Captain Who Just Struck Out http://bit.ly/14CjzC July 28th

25. jimgaffigan Off to Nantucket the start of all dirty rhymes and where they make all the preppy people. July 23rd

24. joerogandotnet I follow some people because I think they’re dumb. I always wonder if people follow me for the same reason, and that keeps me on my toes. July 30th

23. chickmcgee1 There needs to be a more effective way to type a primal scream! July 23rd

22. MattDThompson Is living in the 2nd act of a play I should have already walked out of. July 27th

21. michaelianblack: “Happy Canada Day,” which in America is pronounced “Who gives a shit?” July 1st

20. BTMcLaughlin From now on when I get home from work, drink beer and watch TV, I’m calling it a summit July 30th

19. DougBenson A guy just called me “shit ball machine.” Truth hurts. July 23rd

18. DaneCook I’m thinking of getting a dog from the local shelter, naming him Nostalgia & letting him run away. July 1st

17. FunnyCostaki Gov Sanford actually asked his wife if he could go to Argentina to visit his mistress. Then he tripped and fell over his GIGANTIC BALLS. July 1st

16. jimgaffigan Does anyone know where I can find some news coverage of Michael Jackson’s death? July 1st

15. KellyIsFunny Why is Roger Federer playing Stifler at Wimbledon? July 5th

14. danecook The future is wide open. Like the legs of a husky slutty chick w/bad breath & a twitchy clit. #TwistedInspiration july 31

13. mikerotman 1 hour layover on Detroit. Just enough time to ask for a bailout! July 29th

12. danieltosh i guy i work with has never had soup in his whole life…. i cant wrap my brain around this. July 15th

11. Henlips Best overheard end of story in the men’s room at the show last night: “No, he didn’t pee in the sink OR the trash can. He peed on R2D2.” July 31st

10. paulandstorm[P] Fox & Friends #nameyourgenitals July 29th

9. amyschumer wine guy at coppola, “are you sure you want another glass of wine” me “yes I’m drinking for 2″ July 31st

8. thenickgriffin saw a homeless guy combing his hair yesterday. if i find out that guy had a date i’m going to kill myself.

7. birbigs So what exactly was Applebee’s serving before they introduced the “RealBurger(tm)”? July 10th

6. danecook Sex + caring – secrets + betrayal ÷ mood x joy + desire – mental illness ÷ bad habits + money + favors + hot friends = LOVE !!!! July 30th

5. michaelianblack Devastated that Kim Kardashian and Reggie Bush broke up before I could popularize my nickname for them: Rimmy Karbushian. July 28th

4. DougBenson If your name is Rob, you really should shout “You got robbed!” right after sex. I mean it. July 26th

3. danecook If u refer 2 yourself as “playing devils advocate” when opposing some ones opinion u should also have 2 set yourself on fire 4 full effect. July 16th

2. PatGodwin My very “enthusiastic” flight attendant asked me how I took my coffee. I said to myself, “not up the ass” and out loud “black”… He smiled. July 5th

1. rainnwilson Going to see ‘the Hurt Locker’, which, coincidentally was the nickname for my ex-girlfriends vagina. July 26th

See, Twitter isn’t completely useless!

Related posts:

1. Hilarious Twitter Tweets of November
2. The Best February Twitter Tweets
3. Hilarious February Tweets