St Patrick's Day-Oscars & March Funny Twitter

St Patrick’s Day-Oscars & March Funny Twitter

18 March 2010 View Comments

Twitter is a great tool to find out what people are talking about. There are a few places on the web (other than Twitter) where you can go and check out trending topics/conversations happening on Twitter. March is half over and we have got some very funny and clever tweets to share in between the 2 major events this month which have been the Oscars and St Patrick's Day. Thanks for Re-living your March with Funny-Tweets.com!

The month started out with the Oscars

Then moved on over to some badass Tweets about Chuck Norris

And here we are… the day after St Patrick's Day

(St Patrick's Day Tweets are at the bottom of the post).

The picture from the Homepage is of course from this Youtube video which I am sure many of you have seen (+13 Million Views). But in case you haven't, please enjoy!

I want to thank all the visitors to Funny-Tweets as we have been steadily growing and growing each month!

Holla @YourFunnyTweets and Follow or Send Us Your Funny Tweets


	
		
			
		
		
			YourFunnyTweets
		
		(Adam Moore)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Jets Cornerback Antonio Cromartie has 7 KIDS by 6 women in 5 states. He has had 5 Interceptions in the past 2 years...Sean Kemp is his idol

				
				
					On 2:01 PM Mar 9th 2010
					from web

Here are The Funny Tweets Which Are in Chronological Order

Add to favorites


	
		
			
		
		
			DougBenson
		
		(Doug Benson)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					The Academy was forced to hire all these dancers as part of Obama's jobs bill. #oscars

				
				
					On 3:50 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			Street_Carnage
		
		(GavinMcInnes)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Helen Mirren has TILFs: Tits I'd Like to Fuck

				
				
					On 1:31 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from TweetDeck


	
		
			
		
		
			Justin_Stangel
		
		(Justin Stangel)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Watching Oscars- I see, they added dancing so we could all come together as one and hate the Oscars #oscars

				
				
					On 3:54 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			paulandstorm
		
		(Paul and Storm)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					[P] Ladies and gentlemen: Gerard Butler and Bradley Cooper. Which one are we more sick of already?

				
				
					On 3:54 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			DougBenson
		
		(Doug Benson)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					300 - 300 = the number of good movies Gerard Butler has been in since 300. #funwithmath

				
				
					On 3:56 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			mindykaling
		
		(Mindy Kaling)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					What are you constantly smirking about, Gerard Butler?

				
				
					On 4:00 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			BorowitzReport
		
		(Andy Borowitz)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					The first draft of Matt Damon's speech was, "Documentaries are like Hollywood movies with ugly people." #oscars

				
				
					On 4:02 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			Apey
		
		(April Richardson)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Matt Damon is like the sensitive jock — he's got muscles & is on the football team but still wants to go to plays with you. I'd tap it.

				
				
					On 4:04 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			julieklausner
		
		(julieklausner)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					The guy who made THE COVE just hi-fived Woody Harrelson on the way to the stage? Somewhere a dolphin is killing himself in embarrassment

				
				
					On 4:06 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from TweetDeck


	
		
			
		
		
			danharmon
		
		(Dan Harmon)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Look, it's Tyler Perry's nothing.

				
				
					On 4:07 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from Twitterrific


	
		
			
		
		
			paulandstorm
		
		(Paul and Storm)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					[P] RT @JamesUrbaniak Tyler Perry's Tyler Perry!

				
				
					On 4:07 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			JoeMande
		
		(Joe Mande)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Tyler Perry + Snuggie joke = me changing the channel. Sorry, Oscars. You've outworsted yourselves.

				
				
					On 4:08 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from Tweetie


	
		
			
		
		
			Jim_Hamilton
		
		(Jim Hamilton)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Why doesn't Tyler Perry come out of the closet already? If his movies haven't made black people stop watching his movies, nothing will.

				
				
					On 4:11 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			paulandstorm
		
		(Paul and Storm)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					[P] Baldwin keeps patting his left hip pocket. No worries, Alec: the flask is still there.

				
				
					On 4:15 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			BorowitzReport
		
		(Andy Borowitz)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Fuck foreign films.  If I wanted to read, I'd fucking stay home and read. #oscars

				
				
					On 4:16 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			roywoodjr
		
		(Roy Wood, Jr.)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					'Avatar' is like food @ Cheesecake Factory. Something really mediocre presented so wonderfully you forget its mediocre.

				
				
					On 4:23 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			chrisdelia
		
		(Chris D'Elia)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					All Irish people are from 1998.

				
				
					On 4:26 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from UberTwitter


	
		
			
		
		
			roywoodjr
		
		(Roy Wood, Jr.)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					#Oscars   Shout out to Morgan Freeman's teeth for keeping it real.  #bracescantholdmedown

				
				
					On 4:31 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			ChelseaVPeretti
		
		(Chelsea Peretti)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					"My dad sat me on his bed and taught me all the basics" Jeff Bridges #oscars

				
				
					On 4:34 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			funnyordie
		
		(Funny Or Die)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					The Oscars abide.

				
				
					On 4:34 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from Echofon


	
		
			
		
		
			barvonblaq
		
		(Baron Vaughn)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					I wouldn't be surprised if Bridges started talking about his 11 herbs and spices... #oscars

				
				
					On 4:34 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from Tweetie


	
		
			
		
		
			samantharonson
		
		(samantha ronson)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					how stoned do you think jeff bridges is? he's awesome!

				
				
					On 4:35 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			rainnwilson
		
		(RainnWilson)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Jeff Bridges is channeling the ghost of Colonel Sanders.

				
				
					On 4:36 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from mobile web


	
		
			
		
		
			DougBenson
		
		(Doug Benson)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Jeff Bridges always thanks his stand-in but he never thanks God. Oh, white people! #oscars

				
				
					On 4:36 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			EricStangel
		
		(Eric Stangel)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					82nd Academy Awards - This has been going on so long, it's now the 83rd Academy Awards....

				
				
					On 4:37 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			KevinAvery
		
		(Kevin Avery)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Is Forest Whitaker playing the movie version of "Urkel"?

				
				
					On 4:41 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from twidroid


	
		
			
		
		
			badbanana
		
		(Tim Siedell)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					If I'd wanted to watch four hours of something this boring I would have gone to see Avatar.

				
				
					On 4:42 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			joeschmitt
		
		(Joe Schmitt)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Oh, great! Oprah's going to talk.

				
				
					On 4:43 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from Tweetie


	
		
			
		
		
			RealJeffreyRoss
		
		(Jeffrey Ross)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Happy for Jeff Bridges. But This Oscars show is so long he grew that goatee during the broadcast.

				
				
					On 4:46 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from Echofon


	
		
			
		
		
			joeschmitt
		
		(Joe Schmitt)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Meryl Streep has more Oscar losses than Jim Kelly has Super Bowl losses. What a loser!

				
				
					On 4:47 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from TweetDeck


	
		
			
		
		
			DougBenson
		
		(Doug Benson)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					I'm sure what Sean Penn just said made sense to someone, somewhere. #oscars

				
				
					On 4:48 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			elizaskinner
		
		(elizaskinner)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Sean Penn's portrayal of "Sean Penn" is the worst work of his career.

				
				
					On 4:48 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from TweetDeck


	
		
			
		
		
			Apey
		
		(April Richardson)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					RT @Apey RT @agoodthinglost: Seeing Sandra Bullock is reminding me that she totally had hairy knuckles in "The Net."

				
				
					On 4:52 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			PFTompkins
		
		(Paul F. Tompkins)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					"On loan from the Smithsonian! Ms. Barbra Streisand!"

				
				
					On 4:53 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from TweetDeck


	
		
			
		
		
			BorowitzReport
		
		(Andy Borowitz)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Kathryn Bigelow says she got the title "The Hurt Locker" from her marriage to James Cameron #oscars

				
				
					On 4:56 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			RealJeffreyRoss
		
		(Jeffrey Ross)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Take that James Cameron!  hope Katheryn Bigelow yells, I"m the queen of the world!"

				
				
					On 4:58 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from Echofon


	
		
			
		
		
			paulscheer
		
		(Paul Scheer)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					James Cameron is going into his own hurt locker right now.

				
				
					On 4:59 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from UberTwitter


	
		
			
		
		
			PFTompkins
		
		(Paul F. Tompkins)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Well, we did it. I wrote a bunch a nonsense, and so did you. Happy Show Business, everyone. Good night.

				
				
					On 5:09 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from TweetDeck


	
		
			
		
		
			rainnwilson
		
		(RainnWilson)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Like Mo'nique Ive decided to add an apostrophe to my name. Sincerely, Ra'inn.

				
				
					On 5:17 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from mobile web


	
		
			
		
		
			ChelseaVPeretti
		
		(Chelsea Peretti)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					One of my favorite movie dialects is "Hollywood Southern"

				
				
					On 6:00 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			MikeJerseyShore
		
		(Mike The Situation)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					LOL crashes car while shaving vag is a trending topic. dats a #twituation

				
				
					On 6:55 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			nickkroll
		
		(nick kroll)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Bigelow might have won for best picture but Cameron won for best ex-wife.

				
				
					On 6:58 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from TweetDeck


	
		
			
		
		
			roywoodjr
		
		(Roy Wood, Jr.)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					The old man who ran the funeral home in 'Tale's From Da Hood'  #shouldvewonanoscar

				
				
					On 7:25 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			roywoodjr
		
		(Roy Wood, Jr.)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Wesley Snipes hightop fade in 'New Jack City'  #shouldvewonanoscar

				
				
					On 10:38 AM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			tompapa
		
		(Tom Papa)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					It's Monday. Lower the bar.

				
				
					On 2:34 PM Mar 8th 2010
					from Echofon


	
		
			
		
		
			benjibrown1
		
		(Comedian Benji Brown)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					It ain't a coincidence that these white people r granting me TOP NOTCH service after I threatened 2 contact the BBB.. Works everytime

				
				
					On 4:11 PM Mar 8th 2010
					from Echofon


	
		
			
		
		
			steveagee
		
		(steve agee)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					I have a bunch of pussy magnets stuck to my refrigerator. Turns out I've been using them wrong.

				
				
					On 5:34 PM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			azizansari
		
		(Aziz Ansari)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					New Video: Raaaaaaaandy Declares War on @justinbieber. Watch and RT please: http://bit.ly/diy6pp #BieberStoleFromRandy

				
				
					On 6:04 PM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			FunnyMrBiggs
		
		(Mr. Biggs)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					For the rest of the day I will be live tweeting my battle with diarrhea.

				
				
					On 6:29 PM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			jasoncollings
		
		(Jason Collings)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					if you make fun of gays more than once a day you're probably gay.

				
				
					On 6:44 PM Mar 8th 2010
					from UberTwitter


	
		
			
		
		
			jimmycarr
		
		(Jimmy Carr)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					I'm in Halifax tonight. Always enjoy a Monday night show. I mean, who goes out on a Monday? Fun people, that's who.

				
				
					On 7:44 PM Mar 8th 2010
					from Echofon


	
		
			
		
		
			robdelaney
		
		(rob delaney)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					I just heard a man making noises in a restroom that made me want to euthanize him.

				
				
					On 7:52 PM Mar 8th 2010
					from txt


	
		
			
		
		
			lizzwinstead
		
		(Lizz Winstead)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					I am so fucking sick of cable news hosts asking, "How do we stop the incivility? Gee I dunno, how about QUIT REWARDING THEM WITH AIR TIME?!

				
				
					On 8:35 PM Mar 8th 2010
					from Seesmic


	
		
			
		
		
			chrisdelia
		
		(Chris D'Elia)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Weezy has more street cred. now he got busted for havin a gun. But not really 'cause it's not that gangster to have a gun on your TOUR BUS.

				
				
					On 9:16 PM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			chrisdelia
		
		(Chris D'Elia)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Men who think it's funny to dress up like women as a joke to make people laugh are not funny. That is science.

				
				
					On 9:24 PM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			KellyIsFunny
		
		(Kelly Terranova)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					#BigBen Roethlisberger is using the Toyota defense: He knew there was trouble ahead,  but he just couldn't stop...

				
				
					On 9:48 PM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			joselynhughes
		
		(Joselyn Hughes)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					yesterday, i drove away from a gas station with the pump still in my car.  today, i'm going to try and not do that.

				
				
					On 9:54 PM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			julialillis
		
		(julia lillis)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					silly smoke detector, that's not a fire, it's just me cooking.

				
				
					On 10:46 PM Mar 8th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			rustyrockets
		
		(Russell Brand)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					A surgeon who specialises in gender reversal just told me I'd make a good woman and gave me his card, like it was a haircut.

				
				
					On 12:19 AM Mar 9th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			chrisdelia
		
		(Chris D'Elia)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					"I just think it's bullshit how they don't have any vampire coffee. Let's leave." http://tweetphoto.com/13746085

				
				
					On 12:22 AM Mar 9th 2010
					from UberTwitter


	
		
			
		
		
			SarahKSilverman
		
		(Sarah Silverman)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					I'm gonna freeze my eggs & have a surrogate have my baby & then have a surrogate raise my baby.
#whitepeople

				
				
					On 1:10 AM Mar 9th 2010
					from Twittelator


	
		
			
		
		
			markhoppus
		
		(Mark Hoppus)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					i'm listening to animal collective on vinyl.  do i get my hipster badge now?

				
				
					On 2:55 AM Mar 9th 2010
					from TweetDeck


	
		
			
		
		
			JoeMande
		
		(Joe Mande)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					In a cab on my way to the  #ecnyawards. Furiously writing my acceptance speech (masturbating) in the backseat.

				
				
					On 3:07 AM Mar 9th 2010
					from Tweetie


	
		
			
		
		
			laurenleto
		
		(Lauren Leto)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					I'm totally going to wear a fedora tomorrow. (Things I Think While Drinking Alone)

				
				
					On 3:27 AM Mar 9th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			kirkfox
		
		(Kirk Fox)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Just got a cell phone bill that included some roaming charges from Dubai. It would have been cheaper to fly to Rome and use a pay phone.

				
				
					On 3:30 AM Mar 9th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			lilduval
		
		(lil duval)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					i got a question 4 niggaz that wear tight jeans. is if u see gay people wearing them why would u wanna wear the same thing?

				
				
					On 3:59 AM Mar 9th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			kevinseccia
		
		(Kevin Seccia)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Jogging at night when "Iron Man" comes on the iPod instantly turns it into a jog where you might have to fend off demons.

				
				
					On 4:01 AM Mar 9th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			SarahKSilverman
		
		(Sarah Silverman)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					This is hilarious http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MyGJXLxtVEo

				
				
					On 4:29 AM Mar 9th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			DougBenson
		
		(Doug Benson)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Wanna drive someone in your life crazy? Go out for Chinese, and then rip up your fortune cookie fortune without reading it.

				
				
					On 4:40 AM Mar 9th 2010
					from txt


	
		
			
		
		
			chrisdelia
		
		(Chris D'Elia)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					How come everyone that likes yoga drinks Chai Tea too? Fuckin' ass robots.

				
				
					On 5:21 AM Mar 9th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			barvonblaq
		
		(Baron Vaughn)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					What dumb ass went around literally opening a can of worms in inappropriate places to such an extent that it became an expression? #AmIRight

				
				
					On 5:37 AM Mar 9th 2010
					from Echofon


	
		
			
		
		
			WillSasso
		
		(Will Sasso)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Hey every girl on Facebook, "is loving life" is the dumbest status update ever.

				
				
					On 5:55 AM Mar 9th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			lilduval
		
		(lil duval)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Am I the only one that notice Chinese people have the stankest breathe on the face of the earth?

				
				
					On 2:06 PM Mar 9th 2010
					from Echofon


	
		
			
		
		
			Justin_Stangel
		
		(Justin Stangel)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					NFL - Antonio Cromartie: 7 kids, 6 women, 5 states, 4 DNA tests Today on Maury!

				
				
					On 2:41 PM Mar 9th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			b_donovan
		
		(brian donovan)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					when you think about it, modeling a piece of chocolate after a raw egg is a pretty disgusting idea.

				
				
					On 3:55 PM Mar 9th 2010
					from Tweetie


	
		
			
		
		
			rainnwilson
		
		(RainnWilson)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					will someone tell me once and for all:  what the fuck is Riboflavin?!

				
				
					On 3:58 PM Mar 9th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			TheSavalots
		
		(TheSavalots)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					In Hollywood a marriage is a success if it outlasts milk. ~Rita Rudner

				
				
					On 4:46 PM Mar 9th 2010
					from SocialOomph


	
		
			
		
		
			laurenleto
		
		(Lauren Leto)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					AT&T's "customer service" is managed by Satan.

				
				
					On 5:20 PM Mar 9th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			TheOnion
		
		(The Onion)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					In Focus: Study Finds Link Between Red Wine, Letting Mother Know What You Really Think http://onion.com/dd7FRR

				
				
					On 5:34 PM Mar 9th 2010
					from twitterfeed


	
		
			
		
		
			lilduval
		
		(lil duval)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					I been tryn to sellout for the longest. I just ain't found a buyer yet

				
				
					On 5:46 PM Mar 9th 2010
					from TweetDeck


	
		
			
		
		
			BorowitzReport
		
		(Andy Borowitz)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Politicians: Never compare yourself to Jesus Christ. Besides hanging out with prostitutes, you have nothing in common.

				
				
					On 6:12 PM Mar 9th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			robdelaney
		
		(rob delaney)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					"My mom's (one ethnicity) & my dad's (another)... So I guess you could say that makes me a (shitty, lazy comedian!)"

				
				
					On 6:17 PM Mar 9th 2010
					from txt


	
		
			
		
		
			ChrisFranjola
		
		(Chris Franjola)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					CNN is reporting that China may ban eating dogs and cats. Go ahead and insert your own eating pussy joke here.

				
				
					On 9:48 PM Mar 9th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			thegreatreubo
		
		(David Reuben Jr)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					When people start a sentence with "do yourself a favor" I always think they're talking about masturbation

				
				
					On 11:11 PM Mar 9th 2010
					from OpenBeak


	
		
			
		
		
			pauldanke
		
		(Paul Danke)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					HIts From The Bong is Cypress Hill's Cheeseburger in Paradise.

				
				
					On 11:17 PM Mar 9th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			JoeMande
		
		(Joe Mande)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Just got a bottle of Mountain Dew made with real sugar. Because it's important to me that nasty poison is made without corn syrup.

				
				
					On 11:49 PM Mar 9th 2010
					from Tweetie


	
		
			
		
		
			chrisdelia
		
		(Chris D'Elia)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					An audience member was acting up on me the other night and I said to him "Don't act like I won't fuck your girl." Gotta remember that one.

				
				
					On 1:16 AM Mar 10th 2010
					from UberTwitter


	
		
			
		
		
			Justin_Stangel
		
		(Justin Stangel)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					NFL: Antonio Cromartie can't stop. Jets paid 500k up front to help w/ paternity payments. Now he's asked for a government bailout

				
				
					On 1:21 AM Mar 10th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			robhuebel
		
		(Rob Huebel)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Whenever I see a guy in LA with a tiny hat and a mandolin, I am reminded of how capable I am of killing someone w/ a mandolin.

				
				
					On 1:43 AM Mar 10th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			JudahWorldChamp
		
		(Judah Friedlander)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Attention horny ladies, if you follow the smell of awesome, you will find my secret apartment.

				
				
					On 2:30 AM Mar 10th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			blacksteve27
		
		(Stephen Kearse)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Currently at a hockey game. Lots of niggas. Three black people.

				
				
					On 3:24 AM Mar 10th 2010
					from txt


	
		
			
		
		
			JeffKlinger
		
		(Jeff Klinger)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					According to my accountant the $3600 dollars I spent on ribs last year is not deductible no matter how many jokes I tell about Applebees.

				
				
					On 4:03 AM Mar 10th 2010
					from mobile web


	
		
			
		
		
			KeithAlberstadt
		
		(Keith Alberstadt)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Just watched "The Wrestler". Very depressing film about a fake sport. It's as if Old Yeller played in the WNBA.

				
				
					On 4:22 AM Mar 10th 2010
					from UberTwitter


	
		
			
		
		
			StephenAtHome
		
		(Stephen Colbert)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					who needs health insurance?  airport security provides FREE full body scans.  not even a co-pay!

				
				
					On 4:48 AM Mar 10th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			jasoncollings
		
		(Jason Collings)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					I think if you're fat you have to wear your hat backwards

				
				
					On 6:22 AM Mar 10th 2010
					from UberTwitter


	
		
			
		
		
			roywoodjr
		
		(Roy Wood, Jr.)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					#imtiredofseeing happy people in pregnancy test commercials.  #dontwannabestuckwithyoassforever

				
				
					On 7:29 AM Mar 10th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			awkpaupro
		
		(M. Dickson)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Blacking out is a gift from your subconscious - tagged pictures on FB are the gift receipts that no one asked for...

				
				
					On 8:07 AM Mar 10th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			natashaleggero
		
		(Natasha Leggero)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Frank Sinatra = boring Elvis

				
				
					On 9:21 AM Mar 10th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			WhitneyCummings
		
		(Whitney Cummings)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Ironic guys think Barbie has the ideal body considering the fact that she doesn't have a vagina.

				
				
					On 12:07 PM Mar 10th 2010
					from UberTwitter


	
		
			
		
		
			EricStangel
		
		(Eric Stangel)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					NFL - Cincinnati taking @OGOchocinco 's advice. Meeting w/ @TerrellOwens today. Scheduled workout w/ Amy Winehouse Friday

				
				
					On 2:28 PM Mar 10th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			BorowitzReport
		
		(Andy Borowitz)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					If Rep. Massa pokes you on Facebook, ignore.

				
				
					On 2:38 PM Mar 10th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			bestgirlbetty
		
		(best girl betty)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					You never know how long you can cup your boobs in a meeting until you try.

				
				
					On 3:23 PM Mar 10th 2010
					from Tweetie


	
		
			
		
		
			elibraden
		
		(Eli Braden)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					The more profound Lenny Kravitz lyrics seem, the less pot you still need to smoke.

				
				
					On 4:44 PM Mar 10th 2010
					from Tweetie


	
		
			
		
		
			roywoodjr
		
		(Roy Wood, Jr.)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					#iHeardChuckNorris shot the sheriff but he didn't shoot the deputy. He beat the deputy to death with the sheriff's dead body.

				
				
					On 5:42 PM Mar 10th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			roywoodjr
		
		(Roy Wood, Jr.)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					#iHeardChuckNorris is the reason myspace sucks

				
				
					On 5:59 PM Mar 10th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			JohnJohn_IV
		
		(✔ Verified John John)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					#iHeardChuckNorris can beat Halo 3 on Legendary...with a guitar hero controller

				
				
					On 6:08 PM Mar 10th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			LsPearlsem
		
		(Delaunde Alston)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					#iheardchucknorris sleeps wit a pillow under his gun

				
				
					On 6:12 PM Mar 10th 2010
					from Echofon


	
		
			
		
		
			SmokeMyEgo
		
		(Kuest)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					#IheardChuckNorris destroyed the periodic table, because he only recognizes the element of surprise.

				
				
					On 6:12 PM Mar 10th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			MaSaVelli
		
		(RaVashing MaSa )
		
	
	
		
			
				
					#iHeardChuckNorris ---&gt; Can Kill Two Stones With One Bird....

				
				
					On 6:18 PM Mar 10th 2010
					from twidroid


	
		
			
		
		
			MARLONLWAYANS
		
		(marlon wayans)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					They say chick norris turned 70 today, that's bullshit! 70 turned just chuck norris!

				
				
					On 7:17 PM Mar 10th 2010
					from UberTwitter


	
		
			
		
		
			barvonblaq
		
		(Baron Vaughn)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Just drove a rental car home and yelled out loud, "I'm a grown up!" thus confirming I'm the exact opposite.

				
				
					On 7:46 PM Mar 10th 2010
					from Echofon


	
		
			
		
		
			roywoodjr
		
		(Roy Wood, Jr.)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					#iHeardChuckNorris let the dogs out.   and the Baha Men didn't do shit about it.

				
				
					On 7:50 PM Mar 10th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			awkpaupro
		
		(M. Dickson)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					I can't wait for Chris Hansen to find out about ChatRoulette...

				
				
					On 7:53 PM Mar 10th 2010
					from txt


	
		
			
		
		
			shitmydadsays
		
		(Justin)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					"HIDDEN roaming charges? Jesus, Sprint has 'fucking people' down to a science, like they practice it in a fucking lab on mice first."

				
				
					On 10:41 PM Mar 10th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			chrisdelia
		
		(Chris D'Elia)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					The best tweet ever so far. RT @BabygirljeR: I got a 2010 penny. Suck my dick.

				
				
					On 10:47 PM Mar 10th 2010
					from UberTwitter


	
		
			
		
		
			azizansari
		
		(Aziz Ansari)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Photo: NEVER FORGET SPARTY THE SPARTAN. Watch: http://bit.ly/2omT1c paulscheer: http://tumblr.com/xkq79ueju

				
				
					On 10:59 PM Mar 10th 2010
					from Tumblr


	
		
			
		
		
			elibraden
		
		(Eli Braden)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					In this summer's "Deer Hunter" sequel, Christopher Walken meets some hot Vietnamese dudes on RussianChatRoulette.com

				
				
					On 2:21 AM Mar 11th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			EricStangel
		
		(Eric Stangel)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Watching Big East Tournament- It's so nice to see competitive basketball played in Madison Square Garden for a change

				
				
					On 3:36 AM Mar 11th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			jordanrubin
		
		(Jordan Rubin)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					I sure hope 48 Facebook pokes in one day is enough to let her know that I'm interested.

				
				
					On 5:03 AM Mar 11th 2010
					from Twittelator


	
		
			
		
		
			DCErvin
		
		(DC Ervin)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					You don't have a "inside voice" is #whyursingle

				
				
					On 9:18 AM Mar 11th 2010
					from UberTwitter


	
		
			
		
		
			SamGrittner
		
		(Sam Grittner)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					If you ever meet anyone who works for Ticketmaster it is your moral obligation to punch them in the balls.

				
				
					On 3:32 PM Mar 11th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			OGOchoCinco
		
		(Chad Ochocinco)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Yall ever seen a chick with a nice pair of heels but its like 3 inches of room left in the back because they aint her size, BORROWED

				
				
					On 3:36 PM Mar 11th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			friedmanjon
		
		(Jon Friedman)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					I want to get a life coach so I can pour Gatorade on him when I do well.

				
				
					On 4:41 PM Mar 11th 2010
					from web

robhuebel

(Rob Huebel)

It would be cool if somehow a volcano spewed something besides lava for once....like YooHoo or maybe a shrimp salad... On 11:16 PM Mar 11th 2010 from web


	
		
			
		
		
			ChrisFranjola
		
		(Chris Franjola)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					I liked it better when the only thing that was 3-D was life

				
				
					On 11:17 PM Mar 11th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			chrisdelia
		
		(Chris D'Elia)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Some women get HUGE fake tits and then get mad that guys don't take them seriously. Nothing is funnier. There are only things as funny.

				
				
					On 12:04 AM Mar 12th 2010
					from UberTwitter


	
		
			
		
		
			jordanrubin
		
		(Jordan Rubin)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Sometimes I wish emails from my family had an UNSUBSCRIBE button.

				
				
					On 12:09 AM Mar 12th 2010
					from Twittelator


	
		
			
		
		
			funnyordie
		
		(Funny Or Die)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Best headline ever? Best headline ever. http://imgur.com/Kd8X7.jpg

				
				
					On 2:47 AM Mar 12th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			steveagee
		
		(steve agee)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					I have restless life syndrome

				
				
					On 7:53 AM Mar 12th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			thenickgriffin
		
		(nick griffin)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					celerity rehab. celerity fit club. it's amazing. you can now make it in show business by failing in show business.

				
				
					On 12:09 PM Mar 12th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			myqkaplan
		
		(myq kaplan)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					is thingama-bob short for thingama-robert?

				
				
					On 12:47 PM Mar 12th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			benjibrown1
		
		(Comedian Benji Brown)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					#heyho u kno that's the "we fukn" side of the menu that u ordered from rite?

				
				
					On 8:42 PM Mar 12th 2010
					from Echofon


	
		
			
		
		
			JimNorton
		
		(Jim Norton)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					I was on the elevator with a maid and I BLASTED a fart. Moments like that make life worth living.

				
				
					On 9:58 PM Mar 12th 2010
					from Tweetie


	
		
			
		
		
			OGOchoCinco
		
		(Chad Ochocinco)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					ESPN WHO- John Clayton how dare you, your face is wearing thin on TV, looking like that character from HANINBAL that had those pigs, STFU

				
				
					On 11:46 PM Mar 12th 2010
					from MOTOBLUR


	
		
			
		
		
			kylekinane
		
		(Kyle Kinane)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Sadly, these days the words "outcome" and "income" are one in the same. Also, I'm just gonna reheat this thing with the sour cream. Fuck it.

				
				
					On 6:53 PM Mar 14th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			5tevenw
		
		(Steven Winterburn)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					The only difference between a tax man and a taxidermist is that the taxidermist leaves the skin. Mark Twain #quote

				
				
					On 7:06 PM Mar 14th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			erockappel
		
		(Eric Appel)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					You know, at the end of the day, Justin Beiber is a pretty talented young lady.

				
				
					On 8:23 PM Mar 14th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			rachelrusch
		
		(Rachel Rusch)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					There is nothing better than @reggiewatts http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=CJQU22Ttpwc

				
				
					On 9:30 PM Mar 14th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			roywoodjr
		
		(Roy Wood, Jr.)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Virginia College Online  #shouldbeinthebigdance

				
				
					On 11:14 PM Mar 14th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			roywoodjr
		
		(Roy Wood, Jr.)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Rhianna's Forehead(3) vs. Tyra Banks Forehead(12)  #shouldvebeeninthebigdance

				
				
					On 11:49 PM Mar 14th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			roywoodjr
		
		(Roy Wood, Jr.)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Eminem On Drugs (1) v. Eminem Off Drugs (16)   #shouldbeinthebigdance

				
				
					On 12:25 AM Mar 15th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			WhitneyCummings
		
		(Whitney Cummings)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Sexy lingerie is like a condom: wearing it alone is really sad.

				
				
					On 6:12 AM Mar 15th 2010
					from UberTwitter


	
		
			
		
		
			wittels
		
		(Harris Wittels)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Not to be a name dropper, but I'm watching 40 Days and 40 Nights starring JOSH HARTNETT right now.

				
				
					On 7:43 AM Mar 15th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			TheRealRyanHiga
		
		(Ryan Higa)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					OMG this is hilarious, creepy and kinda stupid at the same time! http://www.liveleak.com/view?i=1a6_1268537759

				
				
					On 8:46 AM Mar 15th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			5tevenw
		
		(Steven Winterburn)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					So far today I've accomplished absolutely nothing - maybe I should be a politician.

				
				
					On 8:59 AM Mar 15th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			benjibrown1
		
		(Comedian Benji Brown)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					#shoutout 2 all u chics that pucker ur lips in ur pics. Yall look like u belong in a fish tank. #shitaintcute

				
				
					On 1:28 PM Mar 15th 2010
					from Echofon


	
		
			
		
		
			TheOnion
		
		(The Onion)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Marijuana Use Triples Among Gary http://onion.com/9PqRYK

				
				
					On 1:43 PM Mar 15th 2010
					from twitterfeed


	
		
			
		
		
			bestgirlbetty
		
		(best girl betty)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Hey @cockiness, when you borrowed my "I like to have my sex, and eat it too" tweet, it made me curious. Do you like the taste of penis too?

				
				
					On 11:24 PM Mar 15th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			PatGodwin
		
		(Pat Godwin)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					St. Practice Day tomorrow in Lake Norman, NC at a place called Galway Hooker…  it'll be nice to see my sister again. Folks!

				
				
					On 11:45 PM Mar 15th 2010
					from TweetDeck


	
		
			
		
		
			JimNorton
		
		(Jim Norton)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Heather Mills' fake leg was checked for explosives at the airport. No bombs were found, only a few million dollars of McCartney's money.

				
				
					On 12:13 AM Mar 16th 2010
					from Tweetie


	
		
			
		
		
			chrisdelia
		
		(Chris D'Elia)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					If you're at a coffee shop and don't know who's hogging all the bandwidth, it's always the guy that you can't tell what race he is.

				
				
					On 12:20 AM Mar 16th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			peteholmez
		
		(Pete Holmes)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					sign looks pornographic: "yeah. You drink that water. Drink it while I watch from my sweedish sex chair" http://yfrog.com/0alqmxj

				
				
					On 1:00 AM Mar 16th 2010
					from Tweetie


	
		
			
		
		
			roywoodjr
		
		(Roy Wood, Jr.)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					*about to cook* i have a problem.Just made me somethin to eat.So i could have something to eat while making myself somethin to eat

				
				
					On 2:46 AM Mar 16th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			ElSmoocho
		
		(Gary Shapiro)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					If you sing "On The Wings Of Love" and substitute "underneath my balls," the manager of the CVS will ask you to leave.

				
				
					On 4:26 AM Mar 16th 2010
					from web

FunnyMrBiggs

(Mr. Biggs)

My balls itch. On 9:50 AM Mar 16th 2010 from web


	
		
			
		
		
			FunnyMrBiggs
		
		(Mr. Biggs)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					All better.

				
				
					On 9:50 AM Mar 16th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			benjibrown1
		
		(Comedian Benji Brown)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					#shoutout 2 all the big tittie women that have a cross charm on ur necklace w/Jesus squished between ur titties

				
				
					On 10:41 AM Mar 16th 2010
					from Echofon


	
		
			
		
		
			lilduval
		
		(lil duval)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					strippers take notes. retweet this to every stripper in america http://bit.ly/aRuzfk

				
				
					On 2:59 PM Mar 16th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			TheOnion
		
		(The Onion)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Opinion: I Wasn't Going To Buy This House Until I Saw The Realtor's Headshot On The Sign (by Sam Cone) http://onion.com/cSiVtu

				
				
					On 3:38 PM Mar 16th 2010
					from twitterfeed

lilduval

(lil duval)

matter fact when i first meet any girl i always try to fuck On 4:43 PM Mar 16th 2010 from web


	
		
			
		
		
			GhostPanther
		
		(Adam McKay)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Why can't we audit the Federal Reserve? Call ur Sens and Reps.

				
				
					On 6:05 PM Mar 16th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			joelmchale
		
		(Joel McHale)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Chevy and I both have colds. I'm trying to figure who gave it to whom. We haven't been making out lately so I'm stumped.

				
				
					On 6:09 PM Mar 16th 2010
					from UberTwitter


	
		
			
		
		
			jordanrubin
		
		(Jordan Rubin)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Blu-ray is just like regular DVD, only with the added thrill of wasting more money.

				
				
					On 9:40 PM Mar 16th 2010
					from Twittelator


	
		
			
		
		
			JeffKlinger
		
		(Jeff Klinger)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					once in college i touched Lady Gaga's dick.

				
				
					On 10:23 PM Mar 16th 2010
					from mobile web


	
		
			
		
		
			djhanks
		
		(luther )
		
	
	
		
			
				
					First the Mission Impossible actor dies, then the worlds smallest man.  Both times I thought it was Tom Cruise.

				
				
					On 10:58 PM Mar 16th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			robhuebel
		
		(Rob Huebel)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					I am of the opinion that your mouth better watch its ass.

				
				
					On 12:27 AM Mar 17th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			steveagee
		
		(steve agee)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					tomorrow is St. Patrick's Day, or as my alcoholic friends call it, Wednesday.

				
				
					On 12:33 AM Mar 17th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			Robheeney
		
		(Rob Heeney)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Hasn't "Paddy" always been a slur against the Irish? "You out on Paddy's Night?" "No ... I'm still getting over the Chinky New Year"

				
				
					On 12:38 AM Mar 17th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			JoshSneed
		
		(Josh Sneed)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Apparently the cure for Tiger's disease is MASTERbation.

				
				
					On 2:36 AM Mar 17th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			FunnyCostaki
		
		(CostakiEconomopoulos)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					St. Patty's Day!  But it's no Octoberfest.  Nice job Germans- your drinking celebration is 30 times longer than the IRISH.

				
				
					On 4:34 AM Mar 17th 2010
					from web

TheRealRyanHiga

(Ryan Higa)

"Live every week, like its shark week" - Tracy Jordan On 6:37 AM Mar 17th 2010 from web


	
		
			
		
		
			brookbristow
		
		(Brook Bristow)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Once the tournament starts, my productivity is going to be a 16 seed.

				
				
					On 1:36 PM Mar 17th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			BillCorbett
		
		(BillCorbett)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					""I have had it with these motherf***ing snakes in this motherf***ing Ireland!"  -- St. Patrick L. Jackson

				
				
					On 2:42 PM Mar 17th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			BorowitzReport
		
		(Andy Borowitz)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					St. Patrick's Day forecast for NYC: Sunny, warm, 100% chance of vomit

				
				
					On 3:35 PM Mar 17th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			TheOnion
		
		(The Onion)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					In Focus: Man Who's 116th Irish Proud Of His Irish Heritage http://onion.com/aI7MBD

				
				
					On 4:09 PM Mar 17th 2010
					from twitterfeed


	
		
			
		
		
			roywoodjr
		
		(Roy Wood, Jr.)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					#yourenotirish  you have green turds.  #getyoselfchecked

				
				
					On 4:13 PM Mar 17th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			jasoncollings
		
		(Jason Collings)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					If anybody thinks that they are required to wear green today go fuck yourself.

				
				
					On 4:23 PM Mar 17th 2010
					from UberTwitter


	
		
			
		
		
			KeithAlberstadt
		
		(Keith Alberstadt)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Im willing to bet these guys selling green shirts at the parade would prefer to have a card of the same color.

				
				
					On 4:52 PM Mar 17th 2010
					from UberTwitter


	
		
			
		
		
			KrystalGibbon
		
		(Krystal Quinn Gibbon)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Wanna talk about Irish pride? I get mind-blowingly drunk on subpar beer and makeout with strangers everyday. That's how much I love Ireland.

				
				
					On 4:59 PM Mar 17th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			SamGrittner
		
		(Sam Grittner)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Shamrock out with your cock out!!!

				
				
					On 5:30 PM Mar 17th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			Justin_Stangel
		
		(Justin Stangel)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					I love St. Patrick's Day in NYC- I just saw a guy vomit green beer on a yellow cab

				
				
					On 5:53 PM Mar 17th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			blacksteve27
		
		(Stephen Kearse)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Today is St. Patrick's Day. Perfect excuse to have some brownies, if you know what I mean. #fb

				
				
					On 6:07 PM Mar 17th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			maxsilvestri
		
		(Max Silvestri)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					I am eating a traditional St. Patrick's day meal of throwup and being 17.

				
				
					On 6:13 PM Mar 17th 2010
					from TweetDeck


	
		
			
		
		
			JimGaffigan
		
		(Jim Gaffigan)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Happy unofficial alcohol awareness day

				
				
					On 6:18 PM Mar 17th 2010
					from Tweetie


	
		
			
		
		
			HarmonyGrits
		
		(Joel Rubin)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					As a nonIrishman, today I'm going braugh-less.

				
				
					On 6:22 PM Mar 17th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			diablocody
		
		(Brook Busey)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					I wore black and white stripes today, which means I think Irish people should be jailed.

				
				
					On 6:52 PM Mar 17th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			AriShaffir
		
		(Ari Shaffir)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					I'm gonna high five 10 strangers today.

				
				
					On 7:18 PM Mar 17th 2010
					from Tweetie


	
		
			
		
		
			AriShaffir
		
		(Ari Shaffir)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Already got turned down once. Fucking cabbies. The vendetta is back on, you bastards.

				
				
					On 7:22 PM Mar 17th 2010
					from Tweetie


	
		
			
		
		
			funnyordie
		
		(Funny Or Die)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Happy #StPatricksDay! Celebrate by letting snakes loose in your office, then get wasted on green Guinness and fight them.

				
				
					On 7:45 PM Mar 17th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			coworkerdrivel
		
		(Whistle Blower)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					"Can't drink its a weeknight. I'll probably just go home and whack it with some green lotion to celebrate St Pats"

				
				
					On 7:53 PM Mar 17th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			StupidForMovies
		
		(Stupid For Movies)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					In honor of st. Patricks Day Mark reccomends watching: Leprechaun, a hilariously bad horror film from the 80s.

				
				
					On 7:54 PM Mar 17th 2010
					from Echofon


	
		
			
		
		
			WhitneyCummings
		
		(Whitney Cummings)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					This is hysterical. RT @funnyordie: Zach Galifianakis' new Between Two Ferns w/ Ben Stiller: http://bit.ly/cHEpUe

				
				
					On 8:16 PM Mar 17th 2010
					from TweetDeck


	
		
			
		
		
			ConanOBrien
		
		(Conan O'Brien)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					http://twitpic.com/19765a - Behold! My traditional St. Patrick's Day feast: 7 Guinness, frozen asparagus soup, and 2 pieces of spearmint gum

				
				
					On 9:19 PM Mar 17th 2010
					from TwitPic


	
		
			
		
		
			awkpaupro
		
		(M. Dickson)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					So on Christmas people pretend to be religious, on Thanksgiving - grateful and on St.Patrick's Day - Irish.So next Feb 2nd - I'm a groundhog

				
				
					On 10:11 PM Mar 17th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			funnyordie
		
		(Funny Or Die)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Great Moments in Irish History w/ Denis Leary: http://r.funnyordie.com/zjbbi #stpatricksday

				
				
					On 11:34 PM Mar 17th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			nealbrennan
		
		(Neal Brennan)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					In honor of St. Paddy's, I'm going to do the truly Irish thing and quietly resent my family.

				
				
					On 11:56 PM Mar 17th 2010
					from UberTwitter


	
		
			
		
		
			barvonblaq
		
		(Baron Vaughn)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					If you get pinched and you ARE wearing green, you can fill that guy's house with snakes. Wait, that's Valentine's Day when you're single.

				
				
					On 12:06 AM Mar 18th 2010
					from Echofon


	
		
			
		
		
			StephenAtHome
		
		(Stephen Colbert)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					it took me all night and it cost a bundle, but in honor of st. patrick's day, i painted my greenscreen green

				
				
					On 4:39 AM Mar 18th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			joselynhughes
		
		(Joselyn Hughes)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					My dad is doing a terrible Irish accent and won't stop. Why did this day do this?

				
				
					On 2:16 AM Mar 18th 2010
					from UberTwitter


	
		
			
		
		
			JimCarrey
		
		(Jim Carrey)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					Happy St. Paddy's Day! Or as my Irish Grandmother would say,"BLAAAHHH! WHASSA MADDER KID? YA NEVER SEE AN O'LADY PUKE BEVORE?! G'times! %^}

				
				
					On 4:46 AM Mar 18th 2010
					from web


	
		
			
		
		
			WhitneyCummings
		
		(Whitney Cummings)
		
	
	
		
			
				
					I am at a bar. This doesn't happen often. So girls are just sluts now?

				
				
					On 5:59 AM Mar 18th 2010
					from UberTwitter

Add to favorites

View Comments »

las vegas seo said:

Hay, Trying to view this website on an EVO 4G and am having issues. I can’t get the menu to load correctly. Just wanted you to know, thanks!

# 2 September 2010 at 12:14 am

las vegas make up said:

UGH!I did a really long response to your post but my internet crapped out and I lost it all! Oh well, just wanted to tell you that it was a great article! Great job!

# 2 September 2010 at 2:36 am