Whitney Cummings Funny Twitter Tweets

A great "Roaster" & Entertaining Comic.  Though she is based out of Los Angeles (Like most comics looking for work in both comedy and acting) she can often be found touring the Country at various comedy clubs.  Whitney is a University of Penn alumni and originally hails from Washington, DC.  She got her start in da biz (that's what douche's in Hollywood Call it) on MTV's Punk'd.  She also wrote, co-executive produced and performed stand-up on the comedy series "Live! Nude! Comedy!" for Showtime. She is a near regular on the TV Show Chelsea Lately and can be found in pretty much EVERY Funny Tweet Post on This Site. 

Friend her on all the major Social Networks and Go Follow her NOW on Twitter! And don't forget to visit her website WhitneyCummings.com to book her in your town or pick up her latest CD "Emotional Ninja"  <–  itunes link

Scroll down for Some of Her Best Tweets from Twitter & Some Stand Up Video!

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LATEST TWEET

Top Whitney Cummings Twitter Tweets

WhitneyCummings

(Whitney Cummings)

I think the term "crotchless underwear" is crass. I prefer "vagina snorkel." On 6:18 PM Nov 30th 2009 from UberTwitter

WhitneyCummings

(Whitney Cummings)

Got invited to game night only I was under the impression we were playing mind games. I passed go and convinced someone they'd die alone. On 9:31 AM Dec 1st 2009 from UberTwitter

WhitneyCummings

(Whitney Cummings)

I think it's weird that in Dirty Dancing that one girl had an abortion yet the lead character's name is Baby. On 4:05 AM Oct 28th 2009 from TweetDeck

WhitneyCummings

(Whitney Cummings)

I'm not into sex tapes. You have to set up a camera...I don't want to have to put batteries in two things before I have sex. On 4:52 AM Oct 27th 2009 from TweetDeck

WhitneyCummings

(Whitney Cummings)

A girlfriend just suggested we do a "girls night." That's basically like saying "let's go out and pay for our own drinks!" On 9:44 PM Oct 25th 2009 from TweetDeck

WhitneyCummings

(Whitney Cummings)

Do strippers have dreams about going to work with clothes on? On 5:41 PM Oct 25th 2009 from TweetDeck

WhitneyCummings

(Whitney Cummings)

They say violent movies cause violence? No. High school musical makes me want to punch someone in the face. On 12:04 AM Oct 25th 2009 from TweetDeck

WhitneyCummings

(Whitney Cummings)

I bet cheerleaders are really good at faking orgasms. On 10:52 PM Oct 24th 2009 from TweetDeck

WhitneyCummings

(Whitney Cummings)

Just watched a UFC fight. I think. It was either that or some very conceptual gay porn. On 8:02 AM Nov 15th 2009 from UberTwitter

WhitneyCummings

(Whitney Cummings)

To eliminate competition in the douche industry, Summers Eve and Ed Hardy should probably just do a merger. On 3:51 AM Nov 16th 2009 from TweetDeck

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VIDEO

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